Few things discourage a Christian more than an important prayer that seems to go unanswered. Most of us have experienced it. It may be the area of the Christian life we wrestle with most.
Part of the frustration is that we do not fully understand how prayer works. What actually happens when we pray? How do our words reach God? How long does an answer take? At times, we all feel like crying out: “Has God forgotten me?”
We are not the first to ask. King David, a man after God’s own heart, asked the very same question:
How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1 NIV)
Some unlikely passages in the Bible offer quiet but valuable insight into this question.
A glimpse behind the scenes
Daniel 10 records a remarkable answer to prayer. It also gives us a rare view into the spiritual realm:
In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia, a revelation was given to Daniel (who was called Belteshazzar). Its message was true and it concerned a great war. The understanding of the message came to him in a vision. At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over. (Daniel 10:1-3 NIV)
This was no ordinary prayer. Daniel prayed, fasted and mourned intensely for three weeks, and received no answer in that time. His example leaves most of us feeling woefully inadequate.
Then the answer came. An angel was sent to Daniel and went on to deliver one of the most important, and most precisely fulfilled, prophecies in the Old Testament (Daniel 11). On arrival, however, the angel shared a detail that tells us a great deal about prayer:
He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling. Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.” (Daniel 10:11-14 NIV, emphasis added)
Daniel’s prayer was heard on the first day, and the angel was dispatched immediately. On the way, however, he was opposed by a spiritual being called “the prince of the Persian kingdom”. It took 21 days, and the help of another angel, Michael, for him to break free. Had he not been resisted, it seems he would have arrived at once.
Daniel knew nothing of this. For 21 days, he would have assumed his prayer had gone unanswered.
Before leaving, the angel revealed more:
“Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.” So he said, “Do you know why I have come to you? Soon I will return to fight against the prince of Persia, and when I go, the prince of Greece will come; but first I will tell you what is written in the Book of Truth. (No one supports me against them except Michael, your prince. (Daniel 10:19-21 NIV)
The angel had to return to fight the prince of Persia, after which another spiritual power, “the prince of Greece”, would come. He was also working alone, except for the much-needed help of Michael, whom he calls Daniel’s prince.
The lesson is striking. Daniel’s prayer was answered immediately. Because of an intense spiritual battle, the answer simply could not be delivered immediately.
Our prayers, it seems, can set in motion conflicts we know nothing about. The spiritual realm is real. Our prayers are acted upon, and can result in titanic struggles in the heavenly places.
Should we expect a visit from an angel?
Not usually. Daniel 10 describes an exceptional answer to prayer. Daniel is described as “highly esteemed” (Daniel 10:11), and Scripture shows him to be remarkably faithful to God. The angel was sent on a specific mission as a direct result of his steadfast prayer.
What makes the account unique is its heavenly perspective. We believe it shows that prayer produces action in the heavenly realm, and that prayer influences real events in our world. Yet that spiritual battle unfolds around us, often entirely unseen.
Direct appearances from angels are very rare. We can, however, be certain that our prayers are heard and answered, even when the answer is “no” or “not yet”. Daniel 10 also reminds us that we may need to wait patiently for an answer to be delivered. The spiritual world is real, and the battles fought over us and our requests are fierce.
Yes, no, or not yet
There is nothing wrong with asking God for things that matter to us. We should, however, be open to more than one answer.
When a child asks a parent for a sweet, there are three possible answers: “yes”, “no” or “not yet”. God often answers “no” or “not yet”. Because it is not the answer we wanted, we conclude He has not answered at all. We tend to credit only the “yes” answers to God and file everything else under “unanswered prayer”.
Even the apostle Paul received a “no”. Afflicted by what he called a “thorn in my flesh”, he asked God to remove it:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9 NIV)
Paul’s prayer was not ignored. It was answered, just not in the way he had asked. And the answer he received was better than the one he wanted.
Looking back, we are grateful that many of our own prayers seemed to go unanswered. Had some been answered as we wished at the time, the consequences would have been disastrous. Maturity and hindsight show us that we very often do not know what is best for us.
A prayer that seems unanswered may simply have received an answer we did not want or expect. We suspect this is a common experience for many Christians.
An answer thirty years in the making
We once heard a remarkable account from a Christian missionary who delivered Bibles in Central Africa.
Deep in Central Africa, a tribesman who had never had contact with the outside world received a revelation of Jesus Christ in a dream. He had never met a Christian and had never heard of Jesus. When he woke, he immediately repented of his sins and surrendered his life to Christ. Those around him thought he had gone mad.
That same day, he prayed that he would be given writings about the life of Jesus, which had been referred to in his dream. Nothing happened. Thirty years passed.
Then, one day, a British missionary walked into his village carrying a Bible in the man’s own dialect. He was overjoyed. As a result, many in his tribe, including most of his immediate family, gave their lives to Christ.
The most remarkable part is God’s timing. The missionary had been born on the very day the tribesman received his revelation and prayed his prayer.
Like Daniel’s, his prayer was answered immediately; the answer simply took thirty years to arrive. He had probably long given up hope of receiving it. Yet God was faithful. The tribesman only had to exercise faith and wait.
God’s timing is not our timing
God’s timing is everything. He exists outside time and sees the beginning and the end together. We, by contrast, can only view events from within time, so we cannot see God’s ultimate plan in any situation.
Many of God’s most faithful servants had to be very patient. Moses was 80 years old before he led the Israelites out of Egypt. David endured many years of frustration before he became King of Israel as promised.
Hannah, too, waited year after year for a child. She endured the taunts of her husband’s other wife and prayed in such anguish that the priest Eli thought she was drunk (1 Samuel 1). In time, Scripture tells us, “the LORD remembered her” (1 Samuel 1:19). She gave birth to Samuel, who became one of Israel’s greatest prophets. What must have felt like years of silence was, in fact, God’s preparation.
God’s timing is not always our timing, and His will is not always our will. In our fallen state, we cannot see things from His perspective. We can, however, trust Him to honour our prayers.
Our attitude to prayer
Jesus did not merely advise us to pray. He commanded it. Luke records that Jesus told His disciples a parable “to show them that they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1). Prayer appears to be a powerful weapon in the outworking of God’s plan for humanity. Remarkably, heaven acts in response to prayers from the lips of sinful human beings. It is an astonishing privilege, and a great responsibility.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16 NIV, emphasis added)
In Matthew 21, Jesus gives another indication that prayer can unlock immense power:
Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matthew 21:21-22 NIV)
This applied primarily to the disciples. Even so, it reminds us that prayer can carry real power, depending on the faith we bring to it.
Our attitude in prayer matters as much as its content. Mark 11 reminds us that we must forgive others if we want to receive God’s forgiveness:
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (Mark 11:25 NIV)
A humble and forgiving attitude will shape what we pray. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it also helps attune us to the will of God.
Seek first the Kingdom
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus urges His listeners not to worry about food, drink or clothing. He points to the birds of the air, which neither sow nor reap yet are fed by God. He points to the flowers of the field, more splendidly dressed than Solomon himself. If God cares for these, He reasons, how much more will He care for us? He then concludes:
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:31-34 NIV, emphasis added)
The conclusion is clear. We should not be derailed or distracted by the cares of this world. Advancing God’s Kingdom should be our highest priority and motivation.
It is not wrong to ask God for practical things; other passages clearly encourage us to. The overall content of our prayers, however, reveals where our hearts are. Ironically, when our minds are fixed on God’s will and His Kingdom, we tend to worry less about earthly needs and wants.
No formula, but clear guidance
Scripture gives no formula for “successful” prayer. Beyond an attitude of submission to God’s will, we receive few specific instructions. Jesus does, however, offer guidance in the Sermon on the Mount:
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Matthew 6:6-8 NIV)
Our loving heavenly Father already knows our needs and wants. Yet being in relationship with Him means talking to Him regularly, even when we are telling Him what He already knows.
This passage warns against meaningless repetition and superstitious chanting. When we recite familiar prayers, we risk disengaging our minds. That makes the act of praying almost worthless.
No particular posture or form of words is required. We do see value, at times, in adopting a reverent position such as kneeling when earnestly petitioning God. It aids focus and expresses an attitude of worship. It is not, however, essential, nor always practical. What God primarily wants is our submission and praise, and our posture, attitude and words will reveal whether they are present. This will differ from person to person, and often from one time of prayer to the next.
Prayer is not wishful thinking
We are all guilty of wishful thinking at times. It may take the form of daydreaming, or hoping for something we have no reason to expect.
Prayer is very different. A Christian who prays believes in a God who is listening and will respond. They accept that the response may not be the one they want. But prayer is a real connection between two beings who both genuinely exist: us and God. Wishful thinking has no such connection.
The confidence Christians draw from prayer also rests on evidence. Countless Christians testify to answered prayer, some dramatic and some less so. We pray not only because we should, but because so many have experienced the power of prayer for themselves.
Prayer rests on three things: knowing who we are praying to, a command to pray, and the testimony of millions who know from experience that God answers. None of this applies to wishful thinking. The Christian prays with certainty of a response from God, not merely a hope of one.
Prayer is a two-way conversation
Strange as it may feel at times, prayer should be a two-way process. We speak to God, but we should also spend time in thoughtful silence, listening for Him.
We believe God speaks to us primarily through the Bible. It is striking how often the words we “happen” to read apply directly to something we have been praying about.
The Lord’s Prayer reminds us that it is right to pray for our needs and wants. God is our loving heavenly Father. Like all good fathers, though, His answer is not always “yes”.
Learning from the prayers of Scripture
Most of us must admit that our prayer lives fall far short of many described in the Bible. In truth, our culture is lazy and impatient when it comes to prayer. Reading some of the intense prayers of Scripture gives a sense of the dedication involved when biblical figures fully committed to seeking first the Kingdom of God.
We encourage you to look up the following:
- 1 Kings 18:36-37 – a short, simple prayer from Elijah with dramatic results
- 1 Chronicles 16:8-36 – a rich prayer of thanksgiving by King David
- 2 Chronicles 20:6-12 – King Jehoshaphat’s prayer for divine protection
- Ezra 9:6-15 – Ezra’s heartfelt prayer of repentance and plea for mercy
- Nehemiah 9:5-38 – a praise-filled prayer by the Levites, holding to God’s promises
- Daniel 9:3-20 – a favourite of ours: Daniel’s repentant prayer of surrender to God
- Matthew 6:9-13 – the Lord’s Prayer, our blueprint
- John 17:1-26 – the intimate prayer of the Lord Jesus before His crucifixion
These are only a few of many examples. We love their heartfelt intensity and humble repentance. In each, the determination to submit to God’s mercy and will is unmistakable. We are certain that if we used these prayers as templates in the context of our own lives, we would see remarkable answers from the Lord.
We are all precious to God
He provides food for the cattle and for the young ravens when they call. (Psalm 147:9 NIV)
God provides for the ravens and hears their cry. As C. H. Spurgeon observed, “The raven is but a poor, unclean bird, whose instant death would make no sort of grievous gap in creation”. How much more, then, do we matter to God?
Matthew’s Gospel makes the same point with sparrows:
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31 NIV)
We have been washed by the blood of Jesus. God’s Holy Spirit dwells within us. He even knows the number of hairs on our heads. If God hears the cries of ravens, how much more will He hear those who trust in Him?
God wants us to call out to Him. Having allowed Jesus to die for our sins to restore our broken relationship with Him, would He then refuse to listen to us?
We must pray from the heart and let the Holy Spirit guide us. When we do not even know what to ask for, we are not left alone:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26 NIV)
We are precious to God, and He wants the best for us. All we need to do is trust our awesome Creator. If we do, and truly believe He will answer, we may see God at work through us in remarkable ways.
Be patient: God never forgets
When we are finally with our Father in heaven, the heavenly perspective of our lives will be revealed. We will be amazed at how effective and powerful our connection with Him through prayer really was. We suspect we will regret not devoting far more time and energy to this “hotline” to our Creator.
Until then, we must be patient. We cannot see how our requests play out in the spiritual realm. Nor can we see whether what we ask for is truly best for us.
Jesus illustrated the value of persistence with the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8). An unjust judge, who neither feared God nor cared about people, eventually granted a widow justice simply because she would not stop asking. If even an unjust judge responds to persistence, Jesus asks, will God not respond to His own people who cry out to Him day and night?
Never forget that an apparent delay may well be due to an unseen angelic battle raging around us. And never believe that God has forgotten you. He says so Himself:
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15 NIV)
God never forgets anyone. If your prayer life feels like a wall of silence, perhaps it is time to pray all the harder.